Vampires, Werewolves, and Zombies, Oh My!

Is it me or does every new movie, TV show, or book have a vampire, werewolf, or zombie in it? I recently went to see Zombieland with Woodie Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg (the guy who looks like Michael Cera) - I really went to the movies to see Couple's Retreat with Vince Vaughn, but I was a week early. I noticed nothing but commercials or movie previews featuring one of the three. Let's see....vampires are in New Moon (Twilight series), Trueblood (HBO series), and CW's Vampire Diaries. Werewolves are in New Moon, the Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire book series (Trueblood), and Wolfman (new Benecio Del Toro movie). Zombies have always been a favorite of mine (See: Swine Flu = 28 Days Later?) and they are in the parody novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Resident Evil franchise (video games and movies), and Zombieland. I'm starting to wonder if the entertainment industry thinks we're all mindless zombies by using the same recycled formula on the masses (making it a real Zombieland).

Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories: Rick James

I don't think any skit created as many quotable lines as Chappelle's Show - Season 2's Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories: Rick James: "Fuck your couch!", "I'm Rick James, Bitch!", "Cocaine is a helluva drug", "I wish I had more hands", "What did the five fingers say to the face?", etc. Everytime I see it, its like watching it for the first time. Its hard deciding which is the best part: Charlie Murphy's narration, Rick James' interview, Dave Chappelle's acting, or the overall writing. RIP Rick James and hopefully Dave Chappelle will decide to come out of retirement. Video courtesy of Comedy Central.

Is Every Song in Aruba about Friendship & Happiness?

Comedian Lewis Black is a spokesman for the Aruba Tourism Authority and has a pretty cool series of commercials - the little girl's expression at the end is priceless.

Hey Young World: Puerto Rican Day Parade

It's that time of year in New York where you see Puerto Rican flags draped on car hoods, fire escapes, and fingernails....the 52nd Annual Puerto Rican Day Parade (made famous/infamous by the Seinfeld episode). I actually tuned into WPIX this year and couldn't help but cringe the entire time. It was like watching a slow motion car wreck on repeat. None of the announcers spoke Spanish or bothered to gain a rapport, the guest interviews were pointless (Calle 13), and it seemed completely condescending (complimenting onlookers on obviously ignorant things). The reporters expected everyone to dance salsa on queue and the people they chose to interview were zombies who answered every question with "Boricua!", "Viva Puerto Rica!", or whistling. Being of Puerto Rican descent, I despise the commercialization and desecration of the flag with coquis (tree frogs), cocks (rosters), muscle men, or whatever nonsense they think of. I have no problem with being proud, but don't embarrass the rest of us by playing into negative social stereotypes.

Kobe - Do you have a Ring Polisher?

Here's a few more commercials from the Nike Kobe-Lebron puppet series with Lil Dez. "Lebron, you have 20 triple doubles, can I have one?" "Lebron, c'mon man cheer up, it took Mike seven years and Charles Barkley ain't even got a ring, not one!" Good stuff!

My Favorite Commercials - Ally Bank

Ally Bank's (formerly GMAC) new commercials are my favorite - they poke fun at banks holding out on favorable terms (pony commercial), bait & switch / fine print tactics (truck commercial), and restrictive terms (bike commercial). The look on the girl's face is priceless!

Eminem and Bruno at MTV Movie Awards

In case you missed it, here's a clip from the MTV Movie Awards of Bruno (a Sacha Baron Cohen character from The Ali G Show) landing in a 69 position (teabagging) on Eminem's face and lap. Eminem wasn't too happy about the stunt and leaves once his bodyguards get Bruno off. If you remember, The Ali G Show featured 3 characters: Ali G (a "gangster" from Staines who interviewed unsuspecting celebrities/politicians), Borat (a journalist from Kazakhstan), and Bruno (a gay Austrian reporter). Bruno is now being made into a documentary movie like Borat - Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

The L Word

The championship that the NBA and most of the world wanted to see won't be happening. The Nike puppet commercials might have jinxed the "dream championship matchup" - instead of Kobe vs Lebron, its going to be The Black Mamba vs Superman....*yawn* Don't get me wrong, the Orlando Magic deserve their just due, they beat Lebron James in 1 on 5 basketball (despite the phantom liberal foul calls). Lebron learned the same thing Michael Jordan learned against the Detroit Piston: he needs role playing players (Ho Grant / Rodman - rebounds, Paxson / Hodges / Kerr - 3 point specialists, Cartwright / Longley / Wennington - useless big men to hack quality centers) and a viable second scoring option (Pippen / Kukoc). Here's the question on my mind, will Shaq show up wearing an Orlando Magic jersey to the Finals?

Are you a Fangbanger?

A fangbanger is a human that has sex with a vampire and lets them feed off of them. I recently pulled a marathon session and watched the first season of HBO's True Bloodjust to see what all the hype was about (the series is based on Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Series.)Don't get me wrong: it was good, but it wasn't "can't miss TV" good. Its full of gratuitous nudity, clever puns (vampire rights movement in the South?), and interesting flawed characters (Tara, Lafayette, and Jason), but the writing seems a bit hokie and forced at times (Sookie makes me cringe with her "can't we all just get along" attitude). Does anyone else laugh when their fangs pop out like switchblades? I've liked vampires since Lost Boys and Fright Night, but I think I'm more of a zombie fan.

Good Girls Gone Bad

Last week, nude pics of Cassie (singer of "You and Me" and P Diddy's ex-girlfriend) were "circulated" by a hacker. Topless pics surfaced of Carrie Prejean (Miss California USA), jeopardizing her runner-up status. Then nude pics of Rihanna were allegedly leaked by a mysterious source. Now, there is a sex tape featuring Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander (winner of Flavor of Love and I Love Money). Do this many celebrities have skeletons in their closet or are they all shameless publicity stunts? Taking a look at the most famous sex tapes (Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, and Kim Kardashian), it does wonders for your career if you're talentless - I guess thats the point....

Reno 911 - I Won the Lotto!

I received this video from a co-worker (thanks Kevin!). It's from Comedy Central's Reno 911 (Season 5) and it's absolutely hilarious. Some of the officers thought they won the lottery and came into work the next day. Feel free to share the video with friends via email or Facebook through the Share button below. Warning: the video contains Adult Language.

It's Not You, It's Me

After rating 952 movies/TV shows, I suddenly hit a wall and started scraping the bottom of the barrel. Netflix was great when I caught up on classic shows from the very beginning: The Wire, The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Lost, 24, The Shield, and Grey's Anatomy. I watched a number of great foreign films that I had never even heard of: City of God, Amelie, Amorres Perros, etc. I was a member since 2004 and have never had an issue with Netflix: I've only received 1-2 scratched DVDs in a 5 year period, DVDs always arrived within a day, new movies were available right away, and they were tweaking their business model by making streaming movies available for free. My only complaint was that I ran out of good movies/TV shows to watch. I found myself watching some very questionable movies: Hannibal Rising, The Love Guru, The Mummy: Tomb of The Dragon Emperor, and Tropic Thunder. With services like www.hulu.com and free DVD burning software available (www.dvdflick.net), Netflix became obsolete. I'm sorry Netflix, you did nothing wrong - it's not you, it's me....

My Dream Job

What's your dream job? Really....think about it. My dream job would involve travel, eating new exotic foods, and experiencing new things. I must admit that I'm a bit envious of Anthony Bourdain from the Travel Channel. Anthony Bourdain is many things - he's a chef, best selling author (Kitchen Confidential),foodie, and host of the show Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.He travels the world and local hosts navigate him through the culture, cuisine, and new experiences (snowboarding on sand in Namibia, wiping out on an ATV in New Zealand, etc.). Who wouldn't want a permanent vacation to Tuscany, Brazil, Greek Islands, and Spain?

Reality Show Hell

I've been a fan of reality shows since MTV first aired The Real World. It was an original idea: take strangers from "formulated" different backgrounds, put them in a house, and film their ups and downs. Next came Survivor - again, another original concept: take strangers, have them compete for a reward/immunity, and contestants get voted off in a drama filled elimination process.

VH-1, which used to be a music video channel, has abandoned that concept and went "all in" with reality shows (they should rebrand themselves as RS-1 "Reality Shows One"). They evolved the reality genre into "celebreality" by using "past their prime" celebrities. Flavor of Love and Rock of Love were entertaining in the beginning, but became too redundant. The problem came with the many sequels (do we really need a 3rd Real World set in New York City or a Rock of Love Bus), the many spinoffs (I Love New York, Real Chance of Love), people not acting "real" by trying to get their own shows or further their acting/singing/modeling careers, and the trashiness. It'll be interesting to see what the genre will evolve into next.

It May Be Time....

The best Super Bowl commercial was CareerBuilders.com - It May Be Time. It cleverly outlines the rules to know when you need a new job:

1) You hate going to work everyday
2) Your co-workers don't respect you ("Hey Dummy!")
3) You always wish you were somewhere else
4) You cry constantly
5) You daydream of punching small animals in the face ("Oh dear!")
6) You sit next to the inappropriate guy who clips his toenails

It left off a few other reasons (being taken for granted, don't respect your boss), but nailed everyone's feelings when you hear that alarm clock go off in the morning.

Jumping The Shark

"Jumping the shark" is a term used to describe a TV show that has hit its demise (typically with a ridiculous plot twist or out of the ordinary characterizations). Its origins come from a Happy Days episode where Fonzie jumps over a shark while on waterskis. It happens to shows that stay on too long and are literally running out of gas. Here are a few of my "favorite shows" that are sputtering out of control (*spoiler alert*):

Lost:I'm not quite sure where I officially got lost, but I'm sure it was around season 3. I enjoyed the show when everything was a big mystery, but it became a chore with the complex interwoven plotlines. All of a sudden Jack and Claire are brother and sister, time travel exists, and everyone seems like a double agent.

Grey's Anatomy:This season has been brutally painful to watch. My top "highlights" are Dr. Yang slipping and getting inpaled by an icicle, Dr. Stevens making love and talking to her dead lover (more than one show!), all of the lesbian plotlines (I guess the women are running out of people to have sex with), and my personal favorite: the wife who needed a stool implant from her husband (yup, stool as in shit).

24:I stopped watching the show at the start of season 4. It seems like every episode has the same formula: Jack Bauer screams at at least 2 people, he tortures someone for answers (and they always die before giving him an answer), he eventually gets captured, escapes, and repeat for another 23 hours.

Nip/Tuck:This was a great superficial show for the first two seasons. Then it got ridiculous with serial killers, a sex addicted HIV woman who has a baby named Wilbur, Christian's ex who becomes a porn star and then dates his biological son, Julia's amnesia (due to being shot by her lesbian lover's daughter who was also trying to poison her), Christian getting breast cancer, and I can keep going....